


In Which Nepeta Has a Weird Moral Compass and John Starts Learning How to be a Demon (Or, NepJohn bonding time and one big argument)

by GemmaRose



Series: Demonstuck [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Demonstuck, F/M, Kidnapping, demon!John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nepeta is a bit weird, even for a demon. It's almost a pity John meets her in nothing but a towel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Nepeta Has a Weird Moral Compass and John Starts Learning How to be a Demon (Or, NepJohn bonding time and one big argument)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Demonstuck](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/31147) by my-friend-the-frog. 



Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you are having the time of your life! Okay so maybe it's a bit early, and Equius didn't seem too happy with you leaving before sundown, but it's cool and foggy and you get to pick up a new friend! You spot the house, the one that always used to hurt when you ran across its roof, and as you leap you let yourself shift into a smaller, fluffier body. The windowsill is just the right size for a landing pad, and you meow loudly.

After almost a minute a head pokes out from the shower curtain, and is soon followed by a whole body. Ooh, he's cute! You try to jump into the room and rub against his legs to get a good smell of him, but all you manage to do is bump your nose against the glass. He laughs, and wraps a towel around his waist before putting on a pair of squarish glasses. “Where'd you come from?” he asks, tapping the glass. “Crazy cat, how'd you even get up here?”

You butt your head against the glass, and he finally slides it up. You meow happily as he scratches behind your ears, fingers of his other hand hooking under your army green collar. “What's your name?”

While he's squinting at your tags, you shift back into your favourite form. “Nepeta intromewces herself!” You grin, grabbing the hand not trapped against your throat and leaning backwards. “And kidnaps the dashing Jawn!”

He yelps, and you swing him around onto your back just before hitting the ground. The roof of the next house over is low, and you manage to get up onto it even with an untrained passenger. You don't stop until you're in a park a few miles away, and when you put him down on a branch next to yours he immediately grips the trunk for balance. You crouch with your head tilted, looking him over for a minute.

“Nepeta thinks Jawn smells funny.”

“What?” he narrows his eyes, ears flicking back.

“Nepeta thinks Jawn smells like a Hunter, which is weird because Jawn is a demon, like she is.”

“Well that's because I **am** a hunter.” he scowls. You decide his scowl is adorable.

“Neeeeeeerrrr.” you cross your fingers into an X. “Nepeta tells Jawn he can't fool her hunting senses. Nepeta knows Jawn is a demon, purrobably Monster Type like Dirkitty and Dave!”

He groans and lets his head fall against the tree trunk. “John as-" he shakes his head, frowning. "Can't you just, idunno, bring me back to my house? I might even be able to keep Jade and Jane from killing you.”

“Nepeta declares that no, she cannot!” you smile, showing off your fangs. “Nepeta relays that Dave's orders were for Nepeta to bring Jawn to the Hive.”

His face falls, and you find yourself matching his frown. You can't disobey a direct order from either Strider, no more than you can stop feeding on human life force. But maybe... “Nepeta doesn't remember him saying she had to take Jawn _straight_ there, though.” you smile, and his mouth mirrors yours.

“Won't Nep-” he shakes his head. “Won't **you** get in trouble for that?”

You shrug. “Nepeta doesn't think she'll get in much trouble. Dave lets Nepeta do purty much whatefur she wants, so long as Nepeta gets the job done in the end.”

He makes a thoughtful face. You consider poking his cheeks.

“Miss Nepeta, do you know where I can get some clothes?”

You look him over, head to toe. “Nepeta wonders why Jawn would need something silly like that.”

He blushes and fiddles with the towel. “I'd feel much more comfortable if I were dressed, that's all.”

You shrug. “Nepeta knows a thrift store downtown that closes early on Fridays. That's where she got this!” you raise your arms, indicating the faux fur-trimmed hooded jacket.

“Perfect.” he smiles, and the combination of his oversized front teeth and deadly fangs combines for the most charming grin you've ever seen. “I don't suppose you could give me a lift?”

You giggle. Imagine, a Monster Type asking you for a lift! “Nepeta says of course!”

He awkwardly wraps his arms around your neck, and you easily backtrack to the rooftops. The sun is going down, which means you're heading directly into it on your way downtown, but it also means that people are hurrying to get home and indoors, which means that there are fewer people to see you making impossible leaps over their heads.

You land less than gracefully in an alley, and both of your heads turn to the source of the scream.

“Monster!”

You drop your new friend and lunge, sinking your teeth into the homeless woman's neck. She twitches once, then goes limp. You finish draining her life force, and wipe your mouth on the sleeve of your jacket. She hits the ground with a heavy thump, and you turn around to grin at John. He's staring at you wide eyed, pressed back against a dumpster half full of Chinese food.

"Nepeta asks why Jawn looks upset." you frown slightly, looking from him to the corpse and back again. "Nepeta doesn't think the lady was that scary." you skip over to him, and he tenses up when you grab his hand. "Nepeta remembers the dashing Jawn wanted clothes, right?"

He blinks mutely at you a few times, and you wave a hand in front of his glasses. "Nepeta calls "Hellooo?" to Jawn." you tilt your head, and his eyes seem to focus again.

"You just killed her."

"Nepeta says **duh**. She saw us. And Nepeta was hungry anyways, so that's a double bonus!" you grin and tug him towards the thrift shop's back door. He follows you for a few steps then stops, pulling his hand from your grasp.

"And you're just going to leave her there?"

You frown at him. "Nepeta thinks so? It's like when hunters leave dishes in the sink. They'll get cleaned up eventually, right?"

He gives you a look which is a mixture of incredulity and outright horror. You frown at the door and hyper-extend your nails, cutting through the cheap padlock with a flick of your wrist. "Nepeta suggests Jawn get used to death. Unless Jawn wants to starve himself. But Nepeta doesn't think Dave will let Jawn do something that silly."

You hear him flinch, and pull the door open with more force than necessary. Its old hinges bend, and you kick it in frustration. You snarl, kicking it again. Your foot goes through the cheap metal like so much rotted wood, and when a hand rests tentatively on your shoulder you whirl around with fangs bared.

John holds his hands up, looking more frightened than you've ever seen a Monster Type. "Maybe destroying the door isn't such a good idea. If hunters find this, they'll know for sure it was demons."

Your ears droop, and you cross your arms. Equius says you look like a petulant child when you do it, but you don't particularly care. "Nepeta tells Jawn to shut up." you mutter, turning your back on him and stalking into the store. It's blessedly dark inside, and you make a beeline for the shoe section. John follows you, trailing his hand along the cheap beige shelving units and staring at everything.

"Nepeta notes that it's almost like Jawn has nefur seen a rack of shoes befur." you chuckle, picking a pair of climbing shoes off the shelf.

"How are we going to pay for this?" he asks, adjusting the towel around his waist.

You tilt your head, then lean close and sniff him. "Nepeta doesn't think Jawn smells like a head wound. Nepeta wonders if Jawn is okay."

He looks almost offended. "Of course I'm okay! Places like this rely on the money from these clothes to pay their bills. We need to compensate them somehow, if we're going to be taking things!"

You snort and roll your eyes, sitting down to try on the shoes. "Nepeta thinks if Jawn is that concerned, he should go check that body outside for cash."

He wrinkles up his nose, which would be cute if it weren't for an expression of disgust. "If you have no plans of paying, I'm not taking anything from this store."

You grin at him, showing as many teeth as you can. "Nepeta has no complaints~" you reach out and swat at his towel. "Nepeta is sure Dave will be happy, too. Nepeta thinks Dave likes Jawn a lot."

John says nothing until you've finished tying your new shoes and walked up and down the aisle a few times. They fit much better than your old ones, and the soles are thick enough that you can finally stop stabbing yourself in the foot by mistake every time somebody forgets to pick up their spilled roofing tacks. He's still standing there, fists clenching and unclenching, jaw locked tight.

"Nepeta sees that Jawn is shaking." you remark, poking his chest. "Nepeta wonders if Jawn is okay?"

His hands go to his sides, over scars that must be from Dave's Monster claws. "I'm fine." he mutters, pulling away from you and whirling to stalk down the aisle with men's pants. "But I'd rather rip my own heart out than let him see me in a towel."

You raise an eyebrow. What's Dave ever done but turn him? You remember that the process hurts, but the benefits are totally worth it. He must still be adjusting, like how Mituna didn't stop crying for a week straight after Cronus brought him back to the Hive. John turns his back to you as he dresses, and you get a good look at his butt. There's a huge pink spot, as if he had all the skin peeled off somehow, and you notice a host of mostly-faded bruises. In fact, most of his back seems to be bruised or scarred.

"Nepeta aplogizes for Dave. Nepeta knows that Dave can be mean sometimes."

He freezes in the middle of pulling on a deep green shirt, and his arms stay awkwardly over his head for about thirty seconds before he finishes dressing himself. "That's what you think, huh?"

You nod. "Dave yells, and he hits, and he bites. But Nepeta thinks he hardly effur means any harm."

John's shoulders tense, and his shoulders broaden slightly. "He never means any harm?"

You nod adamantly. "Nefur. Dave does what's best, but he's not too good at letting other people know about it."

John whirls on his heel, half transformed already, and you can practically see the blue fire licking out of the corners of his eyes. "He does what's BEST? What he did to me wasn't for anyone's benefit but his own!" he raises a hand to swing at you, and you flip backwards out of the way. He roars, loud enough to rattle the windows but not quite loud enough to set off the car alarms in the parking lot, and suddenly pulls up short. "What the-?" he looks at his hands, and you have to rub your eyes to make sure you're not seeing things.

"John is crying." you say quietly.

He crumples into a heap, and performs the fastest shift back to his human form you've ever seen. His new clothes are pretty much ruined, split at every seam, and he hides his face in his hands. "Oh god, I really am a monster."

You slink closer, but when you reach out to pet his head he glares at you. His eyes are still full of flames, and you wonder briefly if you've somehow missed a week and nobody told you. But no, the feeling passes as his eyes dim back to a more normal luminosity.

"I really can't go back now, can I?" he chuckles mirthlessly. "Even Jade would kill me if she'd seen that."

You pat his shoulder, and he flinches slightly at the contact. "Could you, um, turn your back for a minute, Nepeta?"

"Nepeta points out that she has seen a dick befurr. Nepeta is going to be 17 this summer." you point out. Silly John still thinks like a human, so concerned with propriety. He smiles wryly, and it doesn't reach his eyes. Sad looks wrong on him, as unnatural as a demon with no fangs.

"Well, I'm trying to keep what little modesty I have left intact."

You roll your eyes. "Whatefurr. Nepeta will be in the jackets, when Jawn is done being silly."

He nods, and joins you a few minutes later in the outerwear aisle. His jeans are darker now, and this shirt is black with a crossed-out picture of a ghost. "How do I look?"

You smile and boop his nose. "Nepeta thinks that Jawn needs a jacket."

"I-"

You cut off his complaint by shoving a hooded windbreaker at him. It's such a dark green it's almost black, with a navy blue hood. He tries it on with minimal grumbling, and once you've checked that it does indeed fit you make sure he gets a practical pair of shoes. Black lace-ups are easy enough to find, and when you pull a beat-up leather jacket from under the shelves he doesn't even attempt to argue before trying it on.

"Nepeta admires her handiwork. She thinks Jawn looks very good." you smile, plucking dustbunnies from his shoulders. "Now Jawn just has to take let Nepeta take him to the Hive, so Dave can introduce him to efurrybody." you smile and take his hand, pulling him by it towards the broken back door.

He pulls out of your grip, and you turn to cock your head at him. "Nepeta wonders if something is wrong?"

His eyes are wide, and if he were human you might've said he looked frightened or desperate. But he's a demon, so something probably just startled him. "Nepeta asks Jawn what startled him."

His face hardens. "You can go back to your Hive and tell Strider this, I'll never be like him. Ever. He can be an evil bastard in his own tiny little world, but the hunters are going to catch him, and they won't be happy about what he's done to me."

He rolls his shoulders and squares them, drawing himself up to his full height. Coupled with the look on his face, a seven inch difference feels more like three feet. "I'm going to leave now, and you're going to let me."

You nod meekly, and he strides right past you out the door, into the dim light of the quarter moon. You make up your mind then and there. Jonathan Egbert, ex-hunter, **will** be yours, and you will fight with all your powers to be sure that happens.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that's a Ghostbusters shirt he's wearing at the end. John Egbert is, in fact, an utter dork. This is a fact which is a universal constant, and anyone who says otherwise is simply wrong.
> 
> **EDIT** : I re-read Hivebent and realized I've been writing Nepeta's dialogue wrong. It has been changed so that she speaks entirely in the third person.


End file.
